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“Doctor, it’s my wife. She’s screaming in pain and thinks it’s her appendix.” So, the doctor said, “John, John, John, John, calm down and go back to sleep. I took out your wife’s appendix four years ago. And in my years as a doctor, I have never heard of anyone having another one.” Johnny said dryly, “But have you ever heard of anyone having another wife?”
One very hot day, when guests were present for dinner, a mother asked her four-year-old son to say grace. The son protested, “Mother, I don’t know what to say.” So, she told him, “You just say what you have heard me say.” Obediently, he bowed his head and said, “Oh Lord, why did I invite those people here on a hot day like this?” That’s what he heard. My God. You better watch out. Your kids say anything, all the truth.
The wife said, “I dreamed you gave me $100 for summer clothes last night. You wouldn’t spoil that dream, would you, my darling?” So the husband said, “Of course not. You may keep the $100 in the dream.”
